It was right after Christmas and my great amiga Delia Garcia aka Delicious, was in town visiting.  She asked me if I could please go out with her to meet her friend whom she hadn't seen in a few years.  I would have rather been sleeping but I reluctantly agreed.  We walked in and I was introdued to her friend who in turn introduced me to his friend.  A very handsome guy with a great smile and cute dimples greeted me...I should mention that he was out with some girl BUT I was obviously the better choice ;)  A few days later he showed up at my New Year's Eve party and as he was walking out the door he turned around and asked me out on a date, only after he let me know that he was in fact single.  The rest is history and I've had the best time of my life laughing and smiling and loving life with Rudy by my side.   

l'll just cut to the chase... One night my roommate and I were out and about at a local bar with our neighbor having a few drinks when in comes this women who walks in with all the confidence in the world.  Im talking "i dont fart, i whisper" kind of confidence. The kind of confidence that summons this song in your head. Obviously she caught my eye. In my head I pictured us dancing our first dance as bride and groom exactly like El Guapo on his 40th birthday. Luckily for her she was friends of a friend of our neighbor. So i stumble on over trying to woo this female who's walking likes she's on a catwalk and began to talk to her (or at least try). Yeah nope not really working. I tell my bud "my game must be off" but he assures me that I never had any game. I ignore his attempt at preventing me from the let down and I continue forward with my mission. I begin to display my peacock feathers in an attempt to catch her eye. Needless to say its not working. In fact she looks pissed off. Im thinking "she barely knows me and she's already mad?! Jeesh."  She was mad but only because she was dragged by her friend to that bar and was promised it would only be for a few minutes.

Fast forward to a few hours later back at my neighbors place she still has that sexy confidence that now not only caught my eye but my neighbors roommates eye but she still looks very ready to leave. "Oh shit competition!" I tell myself "Dolf you need to bring out the good stuff...the ace in your sleeve" and so I do.

...I  chug a few bottles of whatever was available and begin to display my mating ritual dance.  For those of you who want to follow along and learn how it goes, heres a how to....

Step 1. Drink.....a lot

Step 2. Play some good music

Step 3. Get on the floor... on your back and bend your knees

Step 4. Thrust up in the air like you're a bucking bronco 

Step 5. Make eye contact with her and your competition. Alternating back and forth while bitting your lip at her and showing your canines to him (you know to show dominance)

That's all there is too it!. Oh wait I forgot one important thing. Your attire during said ritual...you must and I do mean MUST be wearing flip flops witn socks on. Its imperative. As the night went on i knew i had won the battle against the younger steed. I suppose experience played a roll. When it was time to leave she invited me and a girl who had tagged along with us to her New Years eve party which was coming up in the next week. 

Oh did I forgot to mention that i was on a date....oops. well if it makes you feel better I didnt take her to the party. So at the New Years Eve party I open the top 6 buttons on my shirt (it only as 8) and go over to seduce her like a crispy brown Vampire in a B movie. I asked her out and guess what she said YES!!!  And the rest as they say is history.